Has Scrupulosity Taken Over Your Prayer Life?

A friend sent me a chain of videos on social media where Catholic content creators were debating the efficacy of prayers and instructing followers on how they need to be praying. I realized how easily prayer can become a source of scrupulosity and anxiety for many people.

One of the great gifts that the Catholic Church gives us is the many different ways to pray, some of which follow a formula, while others are at the liberty of the person. Liturgical prayer is the worship of the universal Church, which we experience through the Holy Mass, the sacraments, and the Liturgy of the Hours, among others. These are part of the “official” prayers of the Church and follow prescribed forms and texts.

There is also personal prayer, which each of us, I hope, practices on a daily basis. Personal prayer is where we enter into dialogue with the Lord. There is no single “right” way to pray when it comes to personal prayer. Meditating on the Word of God, presenting petitions before the Lord during a Holy Hour, or offering a Rosary for a loved one would be a few great examples.

The temptation we can fall into as Catholics is thinking that everything has to have a prescription, which can lead us to overthink prayer and even prevent us from engaging in personal prayer altogether. What specific prayer do I need to say to overcome this temptation? Did I say enough Hail Marys for my special intention? Should I have prayed in Latin instead of English? 

This is a misunderstanding of prayer, and the devil can use this kind of scrupulosity to keep us from the peace that should come from a prayer life. Prayer is about strengthening our relationship with God. He wants us to know His heart and through prayer, we unite our heart with His. The Lord is not judging us and waiting for the perfect prayer to be uttered.

St. Thérèse of Lisieux described prayer this way: “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven; it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.”

In a 2010 address, Cardinal Francis Arinze, former prefect of the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, spoke on the “Importance of Personal Prayer in Christian Life.” He said, “If one understands praying always to mean reciting fixed prayers, then this would not be physically possible for a human being. And it would be psychologically dangerous and inadvisable to try.”

Embrace the prescribed prayers and rubrics of the Church, for anything the Church provides us is an opportunity for grace. But personal prayer and dialogue with the Lord are also essential to the Christian life. Talk to God like you do with your best friend.

Reject demons of scrupulosity that seek to overwhelm you with the feeling that you aren’t praying in a way God hears. God is a Father who loves you and hears you.